icy's Favorite

Words can't describe how happy I am to know there is some sort of progress in their relationship and it started off with the truth with Charles. Charles is a living evidence of Sasya's guilt and affections. He chose to immortalize his sin and his guilt by taking in a child that bore semblance to the lover he abandoned. I find it so pitiful and heart wrenching Sasya lived the way he did. I don't think anyone who lived a troubled and unloved life could process Karel's affections.

Karel's love was domineering and raw, someone like Sasya wouldn't be able to comprehend that. After having lived all his life that everything has a price, it was Sasya's first time to be consumed whole with Karel's love. Like food, should it ever be sentient, it does nothing but satiate our hunger. We eat food as a whole, we don't expect anything more from it but to quell our appetite. It was similar for Karel, all he wanted was Sasya in his entirety, he wanted to devour Sasya for himself without thinking asking for anything else: "just be devoured by me and be mine". But Sasya never lived to understand that.

Considering the sacrifices and tragedies Karel had to go through, it's understandable that people perceive Sasya as a scum of the earth. What he has done is unforgivable, it's immoral and truly horrible. But it isn't anything surprising. It would have been more surprising is Sasya stayed still and waiting, but no. He lived his life rotting away in temporary alcoholism and drugs, with only a moment's of peace when he is on stage or when Charles is in his arms. In addition, what Karel has become is pitiful but just as unforgivable.

To subject Sasya in the same torment is immoral. Sasya, who has never understood love, is subjected to feel something he never knew. He was forced to cling and grovel for love when he never understood what it was in the first place. I don't think there'll ever be a chance to change Sasya. In the end, his language of love has always been transactional, something more materialistic and visual. Over the years, it's simply changed how it looks. It used to be staying with Karel, lying that things were okay, making sure that Karel gets what he "paid for". And when Karel was gone, Sasya needed to continue the transaction. There came Charles who became the collector of Sasya's debt of love.

At present, Sasya still thinks of it as a transaction. He stays for what Karel as paid for. Sasya sells his heart out because he wants to be of value. In the future, it might be the same. I don't think there's anything wrong in perceiving love as such. But it is this way of living that makes people so vulnerable.

In the same way, Karel hasn't changed. His love is all-consuming and all-devouring. He is domineering and carnal. He shows his love in a way the traps and suffocates others. Back then it was a slow-damaging kind of love. It was as if Sasya was being drowned in honey. This time, Karel is drowning Sasya in love akin to hot lava.

Karel's love that asks for nothing but complete submission and devotion, whereas Sasya's love that immortalized evidence and mutual transactions. It was bound to be a tragedy. The way they perceive what love and relationships are were are opposite ends but I do believe that someday they'll come to understand each other.

I can't wait to see a happy ending between them, they deserve it after everything that's happened.

Does anyone know the author’s account in Twitter? I’ve been looking for it for a while but I didn’t find it
Please if anyone know it tell me ╥﹏╥

Ya all, I have some news for you guys. Admins are turning off comment sections one by one. Hold your tits and be quite, stop messing around and read your manga/hwa/huas . Creators are pointing on this websites especially on comment section so be careful what you are typing out of anger. It is being recorded, at least I have been informed abt that. Cheers