born to be straight man forced to be gay girl

I feel nothing when i look at the male body. i used to when i was in middle school but now i’m not interested at all. however i do go through these phases that last less than a week sometimes (like in 6th grade and more recently the beginning of 10th) where i’m obsessed with some random guy and i want to date him and stuff. then like a day passes and i feel nothing for him at all. i want to believe i’ll be genuinely attracted to a man and be in a long term relationship one day, because i badly want to start my own family and also don’t want my dad and everyone else to see me differently. But i’ve never loved a man like how i’ve loved women. also on top of being gay i am unattractive to the same sex and only insane girls like me (either the desperate or extremely mentally ill). hit that like button if u relate