Understanding the last story

wait?! Please confirm my thoughts. Yes, he did broke up with his girlfriend but he didn't exactly hook up with his friend.....? I mean on that same page he mention that he wanted to live freely and stay alone.... so that even if he gets hurt it won't be so bad. >:o I'm not saying that they don't have feelings for each other. But sounds to me that the uke doesn't want to be in an actual relationship.... more like friends with benefit. Scratch that, more like he want the person he love to be a man who loves him? Even if he love the seme, he probably won't be able to admit it, just so he could protect himself.

It's the way it's said. He gives up everything he thought he wanted. The way things are phrased can make it confusing but he does end up in a relationship.

"Alone" refers to the fact that homosexuals in Japan can not marry. Thus, they are considered bachelors and "unattached" even if they are in a serious, long term relationship since they are not married. There is no "in a same sex relationship" option on Japanese forms, only single, married or divorced. LOL Homosexuality isn't punished by law in Japan, but it is punished socially. Everything from job promotions to bank loans are given to those who are married before they are given to those who are "alone". For this reason, "choosing" to be alone (read homosexual) is a huge risk. There are also no anti-discrimination laws regarding sexual orientation. So, a person can be fired, evicted or expelled if they are discovered to be homosexual and their job, landlord or school discriminates against homosexuals.This is significant because most homosexuals choose to live "in the closet" by marrying and indulge in homosexual sex as if it were a kink or fetish. But in this story, the protagonist is choosing the riskier path of being categorized as "alone" all for the sake of his personal happiness after he realizes that life is too short to waste time hiding who you truly are.

A lot of people don't realize that in societies where you can be punished for being anything other than strictly straight most people have 'friends' and are 'alone' rather than admit they have a life partner. Part of what makes the story so touching and full of love is that he makes the choice that he doesn't want to live the lie of being straight and staying with a woman just to cover who he really is. He'd rather not claim a public partner if he can't claim his actual partner. I keep hoping more people will read the story and understand the nuances of it.

This story is subtle and poeticly written. Sadly, if it is not spelled out in simple terms or smacking you in the face, the true "moral of the story" will be missed by a large number of readers. Whether that is because they have only a basic understanding of English or are simply not adept at reading comprehension, I can't be sure. Either way, it is sad to me because this happens in some of the most beautifully written manga. It just highlights how important it is for young readers to have someone older to read with them to help them understand, fully, the material they are reading. BL is not a genre like shounen and seinen, where the "moral" and theme of the story is simple and clear cut. As much as BL is heteronormalized, it is still about the relationship between two gay men. Without an understanding of what it truly means to be gay, all over the world, many of the important aspects of the story are lost. Add to that, the fact that 9 out of 10 mangaka have never even seen an actual gay person, let alone, been close enough to one to ask about sex and love relationships. So, you get this muddled mess of information and misinformation that the reader has to sort through to really grasp the story. That isn't a feat that should be left to your average teenager. Fantasy is accepted as fact and facts are glossed over and completely ignored. It breaks my heart when I see comments claiming that "because I read BL, I know everything there is to know about homosexuality". If it were that easy, there would be no prejudice against homosexual people! We could all just read BL and understand! LOL You need to understand homosexuality long before you read BL to really see the beauty in some of the stories. Is it bad that I think even sites like this should be age restricted or, at least, have moderators who are older and/or part of the LGBT community for their more "adult" sections? People could still say what they want, but misinformation would be nipped in the bud and an unbiased explanation could be available to those who are here to enjoy a good story and understand. I try, but this is my hobby, not my job. And my personality isn't cut out for It! LOL

Personally, I adore the second story. The bravery in the face of prejudice and discrimination is breathtaking and the love for their partner and themselves is inspiring. How could I NOT love a story like that!

I'm definitely an older reader and although straight I've got plenty of lgbtq+ friends. It boggles my mind with how easy it is to access information in first world countries (not counting those with heavy internet restrictions) that there are still older teens and even grown adults who don't do their own research. Granted sex education should start at home and parents have a responsibility to make sure their kids are informed but there comes a point when you have to be proactive about your knowledge especially in sexual subjects.

Putting age restrictions honestly doesn't work on sites like this because kids just lie about their ages. I cringe and want to ask where the hell parents are when I see 12 year olds on here talking about how much they love hard core yaoi or older kids who talk about reading since they were in that lower age range. When I see bad information being spread I will usually try to correct it but it all depends on the person's initial comment. If it seems hostile or their responses to others is hostile then there tends to be no point.

I love yaoi but really it's not a real depiction of actual gay relationships just as most fanfiction isn't either. There is such a huge focus on penetrative sex and who tops and who bottoms in yaoi. In real gay relationships there isn't always penetrative sex for one and for another there isn't always a defined top or bottom. When there is it's not always the more feminine or physically smaller partner that is the bottom either. In some ways I want mangakas to be more realistic but on the other hand I realize that part of the appeal is the fact that it isn't reality any more than a Harlequin Romance book is. It's just there as entertainment.

I agree with you about the second story in that I love the bravery. The realism in the story makes your heart ache but not in an angsty way. You can see the process where he teeters on staying with a woman because it's expected and giving it up to fully be with the man he really desires. The tipping point came when that guy he knew died and he realized there was no guarantee that you get a long life and even if you do that doesn't mean someone will notice or remember you in the end. Even though it's not verbalized you can see his thought process in how he came to terms with giving up the safety of an expected relationship for the chance to be with the person who he really loves. It's not easy to put yourself at risk especially since he didn't have any guarantees that his boyfriend might not one day decide to take the easier route and get married to a woman. It's a leap of faith.

Sorry if it seems rambling or incoherent anywhere. I'm sick as a dog right now.

Thank you so much for the enlightenment! Deeply appreciate